Uni Update

University update.

This semester we’ve been required to do a critical theory module. This means we have to read lovely books and essays by people who wrote about people like Marx and Engels. Basically we could all go into the final exam in January, write ‘capitalism is bad’ on the answer book and get good marks.

Well, we might want to throw in some stuff about men and nipples, just to cover the Judith Butler part of the course, but stick to a good rant on the evils of consumerism and you’re on course for a solid upper second.

There’s a fairly hefty seminar element to this module, which means that I must spend odd hours sequestered in a windowless room with lots of girls arguing, bizarrely, over DH Lawrence. Don’t really see what he has to do with capitalism but hey…

Anywho, the lectures on the module are taken by Dapper who has the mature student ladies all of a twitter. Dapper wears tweed sports coats with elbow patches. He speaks in a lilting Northern accent that sends Matron, Superior and Pleased to Be Here into a sort of sexual frenzy. He is an attractive man, we’ll give him that. He is also a very snappy dresser; the tweed sports coat is very on trend.

I, however, must endure my seminars with Matron, Superior and Pleased to Be Here, and their love of him is all rather tiresome. Now, when Superior isn’t wittering about how she sometimes only speaks to her children in verse or has themed Shakespeare nights for her friends, she’s on a tirade about the wonders of Dapper. She’s aided and abetted no end by Matron, who thinks her sixty plus years on the planet lend her a kind of authority when it comes to men. Please to Be Here is never allowed an opinion, which just goes to show that clique-iness doesn’t die with age. She is only ever allowed to agree with the other two, but she does this well.

Thus, Beige, our put-upon seminar leader, is now forced to endure having all her opinions countered with ‘yes, but Dr. Dapper says’…it’s exhausting.  I’d expect it from teenagers but these ladies are surely old enough to know better. Poor Beige. She spends most of the classes trying to steer the conversation back to DH Lawrence, but that’s not even what we were supposed to be discussing in the first place. Mind you, the Mature Triumvirate could probably teach Lady Chatterley a thing or two.

I can’t wait to see what happens when the essay titles are released.